The Pope’s new Butler

There has been a lot of media attention regarding VatiLeaks and the conviction of the “Pope’s Butler.”  Just being able to use the words “Pope’s Butler” is a lot of fun for the media or really for everyone.  Though I always wonder what he duties actually were and if his duties really came down to being the Pope’s Valet.  But of course “Popes Valet” doesn’t have the same spin for use.

Now I also wonder does the Pope now have someone else filling the position? I ask this being a great fan of P.G. Wodehouse and the Bertie and Jeeves novels.  What if Pope Benedict XVI hired a Jeeves type character? Though the Pope is pretty much the antithesis of a Bertie Wooster.  Still I can imagine a semi Bertie-Jeeves conversation with Jeeves cast as a more progressive figure.  A kind of Bertie-Jeeves reversal.

“Pardon me, sir, but are you  proposing to enter Saint Peter Square in that mitre?”
I knew that the time had come when Benedict must show that iron resolution of his which has been so widely publicized. In the matter of head-joy Jeeves is not in tune with past liturgical thought, his attitude being best described, perhaps, as progressive experimentalist, and right from the start I had been asking myself what his reaction would be to the a mitre of Pope Benedict XV with delicate gold embroidery which I had found in his absence. Now I knew I could see at a glance that he wanted no piece of it. I, on the other hand, was all for this traditional lid. I was prepared to concede that it would have been more suitable for formal announcement wear, but against this had to be set the fact that it unquestionably lent a refinement to my appearance. In my voice, therefore, as I replied, there was a touch of steel. Yes, Jeeves, that, in a nutshell, is what I am proposing to do. Dont you like this mitre?
“No, sir.”
If you really want to know Jeeves, several fellows in the Curio asked me where I had got it.
“No doubt with a view to avoiding your hatter, sir.”
Well, I do like it, I replied rather cleverly, and went out with it straightened exactly which makes all the difference.
“Sir well if you must, but could I persuade you to substitute that crozier with something much simpler perhaps compose of a long branch?”
I saw that nothing was to be gained by bandying words. I turned the conversation to a pleasanter and less controversial subject like talking about the weather.
* Pieces lifted from “Stiff Upper Lip” by P.G. Wodehouse


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Jeffrey Miller (790 Posts)

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