Should I Date Someone I’m Not Attracted To?

Q – Is it wrong to not want to date someone that you aren’t physically attracted to, even though you enjoy spending time with them?

A – Thanks for the question. I am guessing that you are not already dating this person, by the way you have phrased your question.

You are under no obligation to date anyone. Many Christians have been taught that all that really counts is what is inside. I would like to tweak that statement. What is “inside” is more important, but physical attraction does matter. There is such a thing as physical beauty and it really does make a difference in a relationship which might lead to marriage – the thing dating should be about.

While physical attraction is less important than finding someone you are attracted to in other areas (faith, personality, interests, etc.) it really does matter in a relationship and you should not feel bad about wanting to date someone that you are physically attracted to.

I don’t think any of us would be here if our parents were not physically attracted to each other!

One caution – be careful of how you are defining “beauty”. Most people are not made by God to look like models and yet our society has held this up as the standard of beauty and looks. Men and women are made come in different sizes, shapes, colors, etc. All have different features which stand out. Yet, all can be said to contain some kind of physical beauty.

Now, I am not saying all people are objectively equal physically, but rather we must be careful to remember beauty can come in many different ways. In other words, don’t let the culture alone define “beauty” for you.

The most beautiful woman this world has ever seen may not have been the most physically beautiful women (by our culture’s standards) – Mary.

I hope this helps.

**How Far Is Too Far?


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Marcel (679 Posts)

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