April 18, 2014
As a college student, leaving all that was familiar had a way of not fitting into my plans. On Good Friday, I recall the moment of my calling. After months of trying not to hear God’s relentless voice, I could take it no longer. Kneeling in a Eucharistic chapel, I pleaded aloud: “Lord, what do you want me to do?”
Desperate for an answer, I opened my prayer book and flipped it open to a page at random. Time for some vocation roulette! “Why don’t you give yourself to God once and for all… really… now!” Oops! I fumbled frantically for a second opinion. “‘Go, preach the Gospel. I will be with you.’ Jesus has said this, and he has said it to you.” Houston, I thought, we have a problem. On to random page number three: “If you see your way clearly, follow it. Why don’t you shake off the cowardice that holds you back?” Strike three and you’re out!
I looked immediately at the crucifix, just like we each look at the cross this Good Friday. I remember hoping against hope that I could find just one muscle on Christ’s body that was not tense in pain out of love for me. If I could just find one, I naively thought, then I would not have to give everything. For it felt like what God was asking of me was pretty much everything.
At that moment, I recall being ashamed to look at the cross.
Raised anew by his strength alone, this Good Friday, “Let us run by patience to the fight proposed to us: looking on Jesus, the author and finisher of faith, who having joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame.” -Hebrews 12:1-2
Father Michael Sullivan, LC
Fr Michael Sullivan is the Legion’s vocation director, chaplain of Pope John XXIII High School, and a Fightin’ Texas Aggie Wannabe.
St. Mary’s Catholic Center will post a daily reflection from a student, former student, or staff member every day of Lent. We have compiled these reflections into a handout, given to our students on Ash Wednesday. (0)
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