21 Ways To Make A Marriage Great
- Stay chaste and celibate before marriage - This goes for all your relationships. The statistics show that doing so means a much higher chance of a successful marriage. Those who don’t have premarital sex have much lower rates of divorce and happier marriages.
- Don’t live together before marriage - This might even double your chance of divorcing your spouse well over 60%! Another study found that in their marriages prior cohabitors “are estimated to have a hazard of dissolution that is about 46% higher than for noncohabitors.”
- Stay faithful once you are married – This can be with a real person or with porn. Either messes up a marriage. 68% of divorce cases involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet. 56% of divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.
- Stay sober – Alcohol abuse and drug use are super-highways to ending any kind of relationship. When a substance is more important than a person, then the relationship can’t survive.
- Marry someone who shares your beliefs - Now, there are certainly marriages that succeed between people with differing beliefs, but we can agree, at the least you are putting a strain on a relationship and a hurdle which must be constantly dealt with.
- Marry for the right reasons - Marrying someone because you have strong emotions about them (which will eventually go away) or because they are good looking (which won’t last) is a great way to eventually ruin a marriage. You should only marry someone you believe God wants you to, you love, and which you can see staying with (without them changing) for the rest of your life.
- Work on Communication – talking can’t be over-rated. The average man might have to work on this area more than the average woman, but both need to learn to be good at it, not just tolerate one another.
- Keep your priorities straight – being rich and successful needs to come after your marriage. The priorities should always start with God, then your marriage, then your children.
- Be selfless - Marriage is about the other person. This means sacrifice is built in and without it, marriages won’t be successful. Your job is to respect, protect, love, and serve your spouse and kids.
- Have the same expectations about money or debt - Don’t spend too much or live beyond your means. Money is the #1 reason that couples argue.
- Tithe – The money isn’t your own and tithing puts the blessings of God into the proper perspective.
- Use NFP – kids are a true gift. Couples that use NFP are happier, have better sex-lives, and stay married more than 95% of the time. Will it take sacrifice and self-control? Yes. But, it is worth it.
- Never talk negatively about your spouse – When you discuss your spouse with others, always stay positive. This mindset will help determine your attitude at other times.
- Spend time with your spouse – this person is the most important person in your life, so put them on your calendar if you have to.
- Love your spouse how they want to be loved - Find out how your spouse wants to be loved and then practice loving them in that way every day. FYI – they probably don’t want to be loved like you do.
- Pray together EVERY day – Even when you don’t want to, choose to intentionally invite God to be a part of your marriage. Once you have kids, prayer as a family should be part of the daily routine too.
- Go to church together EVERY Sunday/Holy Day – We help each other with the most important relationship of all by doing so.
- Have fun together - Part of the reason most couples got married is because they enjoyed each other’s company. If this means a husband needs to romance his wife or his wife needs to laugh more at his jokes, then do it!
- Learn how to ask for forgiveness - Don’t make excuses. Don’t wait for the other person to ask first. Humble yourself and say “I am sorry, please forgive me”, then be quiet and let them forgive you when they are ready to.
- Show appreciation for one another - when your husband does something for you without him asking or your wife does your laundry, say “thank you” or “I really appreciate you”.
- Be selfless in your married sex life – John Paul II even said this was an important part of marriage. Check this out for more about this topic.
This list is not exhaustive. You could be inventive and come up with many other points. If you have one, leave a comment. (0)
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